


used to looking out for each other (but this time i can’t see you)

by shadowswillscream



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Sorry?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 16:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18641575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowswillscream/pseuds/shadowswillscream
Summary: The aftermath of the boat explosion (pp3)





	used to looking out for each other (but this time i can’t see you)

It happens so fast.

It happens so fast that Chloe’s not really sure how to process it. One moment Beca is getting the Bellas to perform an old routine and the next she’s ushering everyone to jump off the boat. 

Chloe swears Beca’s right behind her, but when she pops out from under the water, arms frantically moving to keep herself afloat, she doesn’t see Beca anywhere near her. She tries to call out for Beca but isn’t met with a response and she’s forced to put her focus on the rest of the girls who are panicking. 

When the boat explodes in front of her eyes, the worst thought runs through her head.

_ Beca’s gone. Beca’s dead. _

But then she sees Beca pop out from under the water, a strained yell coming out of her, and that’s when adrenaline kicks in. 

It’s a blur from there to the shore. 

Water sloshes against their bodies and Chloe tries to pull Beca further up the shore but she’s met with screams and Beca pleading for Chloe to stop. That’s when Chloe sees all the blood, sees it seeping into the sand, sees that most of Beca’s body is covered in shrapnel, and there are open wounds everywhere. 

“The girls.” Beca’s voice is weak, her eyes fixed on the dark sky above. 

Chloe nods, biting the inside of her cheek. Her fingers trail lightly against Beca’s cheek as she situates herself closer to Beca, laying on her side. Her eyes find Beca’s and she nods weakly, “They’re okay, we’re okay.” 

Beca’s mouth hangs open as ragged breaths leave her and Chloe can see how distant and tired Beca looks. 

Chloe worries that this is it. That Beca is going to leave the Bellas like this - leave  _ her _ like this with her chest twisting and her throat tight. It isn’t fair. There’s so much Chloe has to say to Beca, so many things she still wants to do with Beca. 

Beca’s hand grabs hers, cold and wet from the blood. 

Chloe grimaces at the feeling, “Look at me, it’s okay.” She tries to make her voice as soothing as possible, tries to be a soft as she can in this moment for Beca. 

Finally, Beca’s eyes meet her own and she can see the fear etched in Beca’s eyes. She gives Beca a soft smile, “It’s okay, Beca. We’re okay.” 

It’s not entirely a lie. They will be okay, imminent danger is gone, and Chloe can hear distant sirens. That doesn’t mean Chloe’s heart doesn’t feel like it’s being pulled from her chest along with everything that else that makes her love Beca so much. 

Her free hand traces across Beca’s temple and she tucks hair behind Beca’s ear before cupping Beca’s cheek. “You’re okay. I’m here.” 

Beca’s lip quivers, tears escape and travel down the side of her face, mixing with blood, “I love you.” 

Chloe’s own tears threaten to spill over, but she just forces another smile. It’s the first time Beca’s said those words since she asked Chloe out months ago. “I love you too. So much.” It’s genuine. She loves Beca with everything in her, has since the end of Beca’s freshman year. But it also rips her chest open at the thought that this is the only time she’ll ever hear those words from Beca. 

“We- we never had that- that date.” Beca’s voice is getting quieter, barely a whisper.

Chloe knows this is it. 

It had shocked Chloe when Beca asked her out. She had always thought those feelings were one sided and she had just begun to think that perhaps she should move on. But there Beca was, standing awkwardly in their shared apartment with Amy, twisting her fingers before blurting out the question and then trying to brush it off as a joke. Chloe had said yes, but they were supposed to reunite with the Bellas that weekend and the timing just wasn’t right for an official date. Then Aubrey had mentioned the USO and suddenly things had gotten too busy between preparing for this tour and work commitments. 

“Next time, okay?” A whimper pulls at her throat, coming out without Chloe’s permission, but she shuts her mouth, grinding her teeth. There isn’t going to be a next time. She really wants to be strong for Beca in this moment and for once not let her emotions get the best of her. She doesn’t want to scare Beca. 

Beca grunts. “Bowling.” 

She huffs, partly out of amusement, but mostly out of desperation to get a grip on her emotions. “That sounds fun.” She watches as Beca’s eyes droop a little, watches the light slowly leave. “It’s okay.” She repeats over and over as she watches Beca go still, no longer fighting to breathe or shaking from the pain.

When Beca’s hand goes limp in hers, Chloe lets the sobs finally take over as she rests her head on Beca’s shoulder, her arms falling across Beca’s chest, gripping at her shirt. 

It all ends too quickly. There won’t be a next time. They won’t go bowling, they won’t ever have any romantic firsts, but Chloe holds on to their first ‘I love you’ even as it breaks her over and over.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me at jesseswanson on tumblr if you'd like to yell at me.


End file.
